Don’t buy this book.

This book wasn’t written for you.

The stories in this book are just goofy stories about all the crazy things that have gone on in our house. Absolutely nothing sophisticated at all.

Reading this book is probably a lot like watching somebody’s home movies. Nobody likes to do that, right? Nope. Boring as hell.

You probably won’t even understand half the stories anyway. If you haven’t lived with us, you’ll be totally lost.

Autism is a reoccurring theme of my stories. If you can’t laugh about, and appreciate the adventures that autism brings to a family, then you definitely should NOT read this book.

I’m NOT a writer. I can assure you that you WILL find comma splices and misspelled words and run-ons and cuss words. Lots of cuss words.

These stories are old. Most of them were written years and years ago and you'll probably be embarrassed for my children as you read these stories.

My nine-year old help me decided which stories to include in this book. MY NINE YEAR OLD!

You'll probably cry when you read the story about my daughter and the circumstances around her moving out of our house.

The picture on the “About the Author” page of the book is hopefully the most embarrassing photo you will ever see of me, but seeing how it PERFECTLY epitomizes EVERYTHING that motherhood encompasses, I put it in there. And if you’re a parent and you’ve never had a moment like that, then you just aren’t living!

PLEASE don’t buy my book.