Everyone knows Evan Witmer is a weird guy and he writes some of the weirdest adult fiction on the market. But he'd like to point out, he was also a very weird kid. At the time he felt ostracized but looking back he wishes he embraced it more. This collection of children's poetry is written for all the other weird kids out there who like to make sound effects at the grocery store and make toilets out of construction paper. Being strange can be lonely at times, but it leads to a life lived unlike any other.

This book includes such works as "Don’t Punch That Piece of Pasta", "Scarves That Go Great with Your Armor", "Top Baby Names for Cyborgs 2021", and "Finally: Astrology for Dogs!". The point of this collection is to be scrappy and outlandish while still making a point every now and then. It hopes to inspire a whole new generation of different-thinkers.